Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso: Episode 11

命の灯 – Light of Life

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Just gratitude? JUST gratitude?!!! Kousei!! (ノ*`へ´*)ノ︵ ┻━┻ Talk about denial!

Okay, back tracking a little. I’ll admit, at the very beginning of this episode, if not for Kaji Yuuki’s voice, I would have thought I was watching the wrong series. And Kaji did brilliantly transitioning from hero-inspired little boy to jaded teenage boy in a flash! Lol, I just had to bring in that reference. In all honesty, even though Takeshi thought his hero had been reduced to a normal human being after that sloppy performance, I am convinced that he couldn’t have felt further from his goal after that mature and heartfelt speech that Kousei gave. The way he reached his hand out with so much yearning, and still couldn’t grasp the back of his idol… That’s right Takeshi, he might not have won, but Kousei is still ever the hero you have always looked up to.

But I digress. This episode, Kousei practised till he passed out, found a mentor (Sonozaki Mie) and decided to face the music (literally) once again. He has certainly matured over the past few weeks and I am so glad for him having met Kaori. Oh Kaori~~ Her reckless, carefree spirit inspired him; he hoped that the emotions he poured into his playing reached her; he thought of her being by his side when he was performing; she spurred him to go on a journey despite being unaware of what lies ahead; she’s now his reason for playing the piano… All the signs point towards Kousei having feelings for Kaori. And yet, the confused little boy isn’t aware of what he’s feeling for her. They are feelings of like my dear Kousei, not gratitude.

While it is lovely to see Kousei moving forward, both as a musician and a person, it is unsavoury to think that he might be losing his very reason for wanting to persevere. We know that Kaori is ill, and this series has dropped hints left, right and centre on the gravity of her situation. However, when Kouri uttered the words “I am not always going to be around to help you” after Kousei’s mini-almost-confession, my heart faltered a little. The music did not help one bit either. If anything, the timely pause during the firefly scene only added on the oomph factor – it really was quite heart-stopping *readies the tissues and braces self for tears*

In other news, the Kaori-Kousei-combi has been invited to perform at the gala concert! And what better way to stand out than to play a subdued piece during a performance that’s supposed to scream flashy and showy? Oh Kaori, you are still ever the same… Kousei obviously has some form of resentment towards the song – why else would he have even voiced his objection? I personally am rather fond of Kreisler’s Liebesleid and am very much looking forward to their performance at the gala concert.

*apologies for the massive delay, kiseki was catching up with real life music deadlines the past couple of weeks~

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