Kuroi Aijou Disc 2 – Translation

Kuroi Aijou

Title: Kuroi Aijou (黒い愛情) Disc 2 (drama review)
Cast: Midorikawa Hikaru x Hirakawa Daisuke (緑川光×平川大輔)
Related drama(s): None
Contents: Disc 1

Track 01
Track 02
Track 03
Track 04
Track 05
Track 06

Disc 2

Track 01
Track 02
Track 03
Track 04
Track 05
Track 06
Track 07

Track 01

Fushimi: How is it? Do you feel better now?
Patient: Yes, a little. I’m no longer young, I think it’s rather embarrassing for me to be worrying over love so much.
Fushimi: Don’t say that, I think that Imai-san is a wonderful woman for being able to say that. I think it’s better to get something done before worrying about whether you are young or not.
Patient: But I might get hurt right? That’s what I’m most afraid of.
Fushimi: Isn’t that the same as getting muscle ache? If you seldom exercise and suddenly participate in vigorous activities, you might not be able to get out of bed the next day as your muscles will be aching, right? I think love is something like that. Even though you will be faced with multiple setbacks at first, you will get better the next time.
Patient: That might be right too. Thank you for today.
Fushimi: When I close my eyes, my heart feels like there’s a heavy weight placed on it. This seems to be a feeling which is familiar to me in the past. This fear of being pushed down forcefully by another person, did Katou plant this in me? Or was it Seto? Or was it further back in the past…
Huh? Oh it’s from Seto.
Seto: That time when I did that, it was because the blood rushed to my head and when I think that I might have frightened Tomonori, I feel really sorry. Please forgive me.
Fushimi: Even if you say that…
I can’t really reply, “it’s fine, don’t worry about it”. When I remember about Seto, my body still trembles, even now. If you talk about forcing me, Katou was obviously worse. When I’m together with Katou, one thing comes to my mind: what will he do to me today? How will he hold me today? Will I get what I desire? When I think that I’m already lusting for Katou before even seeing him… I’m getting dizzy. (Fushimi gags and runs to toilet)
Katou: Fushimi-san? So you were here?
Fushimi: Long ago, someone offered me his hand, telling me to “come over” and I was captured by him. Large hands entered my shirt, I struggled with all my might but I couldn’t win. After that, a heat took over my body and I was assaulted by an unbearable pain. Who was that person who asked me hoarsely if it felt good? That person who entered me forcefully, that man…
I don’t want this, stop it Kouichi-niisan…
Katou: Fushimi-san?
Fushimi: No… no! Let me go, stop this! Ahhhhhh!
Katou: Fushimi-san, it’s me, Katou. Pull yourself together! Take a deep breath. That’s right, calm down. It will be fine, inhale.
Fushimi: Katou?
Katou: Yes, it’s me. Please don’t worry.
Fushimi: That person touched me forcefully. Even though I said I didn’t want it. But, I couldn’t fight against him… I was so scared…
Katou: I am here. It’s not scary anymore, it’s fine now. Let’s go back by taxi, I’ll send you home.
Fushimi: He saved me, Katou… again. Just like that time, when we first met.

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Track 02

Katou: Come, lie down here.
Fushimi: How did you know that I was in toilet? Can you read my mind?
Katou: That can’t be.
Fushimi: But just now you…
Katou: You weren’t in your room when I went to find you and it didn’t seem like you went out. Somehow I figured it out.
Fushimi: Oh, what happened to your spectacles?
Katou: I dropped them in the toilet. I think someone picked it up for me though. Rather than that, is it fine for me to be beside you? If you prefer to be alone, I will leave.
Fushimi: Please stay here, don’t leave.
Katou: All right.
Fushimi: Even if we don’t talk, he can read what I’m thinking. There were times when I was so afraid of Katou’s sharp intuition, but I’m happy about it now. He understands me even without me saying anything. I have that feeling, but I guess I have to tell him properly.
Kouichi-niisan is my cousin. Do you remember what I told you before?
Katou: He’s the one who was your replacement-father right? He played with you a lot and even brought you swimming.
Fushimi: That’s right, I was raped by that person. Because I lost my father when I was very young, I was very attached to Kouichi-niisan. I thought of him as my real brother, but one summer holiday when we went to the sea, it was my first time being subjected to something like that.
Katou: After that?
Fushimi: I didn’t know what was going on, and I was extremely frightened by what Kouichi-niisan did. The Kouchi-niisan who suppressed me while I struggled seemed like another person altogether. I found myself so repulsive after having done something like that…
Katou: Fushimi-san…
Fushimi: I was going crazy from worrying that someone would find out. I tried to die, but it didn’t work. If I died then, my mother… my mother who was so earnest about bringing me up, I couldn’t bear to leave her behind.
Katou: What is that person doing now?
Fushimi: In Italy or Spain? After what happened with me, he left Japan. Since then, we haven’t met even once. Why… I’ve forgotten about that till now…
Katou: I’m sure Fushimi-san sealed those memories of the past with your will. Humans have a defense mechanism which can enable them to forget about memories which might poison them. I incited the…
Fushimi: No! It wasn’t you… Seto was the one. He resembled Kouichi-niisan, that’s why I was attracted to him, but not in the sexual sense. He reminded me of the Kouichi-niisan who took care of me a long time ago.
Katou: Did you love that person a lot back then?
Fushimi: I was just a child then, it wasn’t in the romantic…
Katou: Did you love him to the point of wanting to kill him?
Fushimi: Huh?
Katou: Fushimi-san, shall we trade secrets? Just between the two of us.
Fushimi: I can’t help feeling that his secret would be no ordinary one. But, I want to know it, I want to know more about Katou.
Katou: I’m sorry, seems like I shocked you more than necessary.
Fushimi: Even you could laugh that way too.
Katou: “That way”? What way do you mean? Could it be that you think I’m quite an evil person?
Fushimi: A little…
Katou: You really said it, with such a cute expression. I’m fine with just hearing about you tonight, I’m happy that you confided in me while you were suffering. I’ll leave my story for the next time, right now I want to hold Fushimi-san.
Fushimi: Doing such things so frequently, won’t you get sick of it?
Katou: Won’t I get sick of it… with regards to? Sex? Or are you referring to Fushimi-san?
Fushimi: That is…
Katou: I am not just seeking pleasure from you, I’m also not trying to torture you mentally. In comparison to other men, my methods are a bit heavy so please give up. I’ll teach you about ways to feel it, that Fushimi-san never knew about. I’m sure we can both gain more pleasure from it. I’ll take good care of Fushimi-san over this weekend. Let’s spend one whole day being naked together. Your hands, your fingers and your legs, I’ll lick them all for you. Don’t you want to remember how my tongue moves with this body?
Fushimi: Katou…
Katou: You’re so cute Fushimi-san, you’ve taking me in and getting so hot. Feel more.
Fushimi: Won’t you tire of me one day?
Katou: Tire of? Which part of me have you been looking at? What did you see in me to think that I would tire of Fushimi-san? I will fill you with my love however many times I can. I will change you.
Fushimi: I’m coming!
I love this man, I firmly believe in that now. No matter how our beginning was, I can’t fool myself. I’m the one who is losing my self-control.

Kuroi Aijou (5)
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Track 03

Female 1: Say, have you heard about Katou-sensei?
Female 2: I heard some rumours, his patient filed a complaint right?
Female 1: Seems like she was a rich lady from a famous mental clinic.
Female 2: Huh, is that for real?
Fushimi: What’s the matter?
Female 2: Ah, Fushimi-sensei… Actually, there has been a complaint regarding a prank pulled by Katou-sensei during a consultation. It’s a patient called Ishisaki Kyouko-san…
Fushimi: Ishisaki-san huh?
Ishisaki Kyouko-san, is one of the patients I was in charge of before. She has a habit of throwing a tantrum when things don’t go her way. Because of my moderate temperament and how she didn’t prioritise development, she changed her in-charge when I came out strong.
But I don’t think Katou-sensei would do something like that. In the first place, I have never heard of something like that before.
Female 1: But, I’ve heard a little on this, the higher-ups seem to take this matter rather seriously.
Katou: Then, please excuse me for today.
Female 1: Ah, excuse me… I’ll go serve tea to Katou-sensei’s client.
Female 2: Then please excuse me too.
Katou: Did something happen?
Fushimi: Ah… well… Rather than that Katou, I have something to say to you.
Katou: I’m a little… I know, come over to my place tonight. We’ll talk more then. And, I’ve fastened this clip on Fushimi-san for a whole week, I have to take good care of it too.
Fushimi: Stupid, you won’t know if anyone is listening on us.
Katou: Isn’t that good? Who was the one who got so aroused the last time we did that at the café? According to what I see, Fushimi-san gets really aroused during situations when we might get discovered by others.
Fushimi: I’m trying to talk to you seriously!
Katou: I’m sorry. Seems like you’ve got a text, then see you later.
Fushimi: (Fushimi gasps) It’s from Seto.
Seto: Have you been well? You might not forgive me however many times I apologise, but I’m really sorry for that. I want to apologise to you properly, can you meet me just once? I promise not to do anything that will frighten you. I will be waiting for you at the restaurant in Roppongi at 7pm tonight.
Fushimi: Before I start liking Katou, I have to settle the matter with Seto first.
Katou, something cropped up so I might be a bit late. But, I will go over by 10pm so please wait. I have something important to tell you.

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Track 04

Fushimi: Seto, I have something to talk to you about.
Seto: What is this all of a sudden? You’re not going to tell me that you’re getting married right?
Fushimi: That’s not it, but let’s stop meeting alone like this.
Seto: Why?
Fushimi: I want to stay as good friends with you. You said before, that you like me right? Although I was happy, I have someone else whom I like. I’m really sorry, it’s not like I didn’t notice your feelings after all these years.
Seto: Then notice them now. You want to stay as good friends? Don’t joke with me, I’ve never thought of you as a good friend, not even once.  From the first moment we met, you were always mine.
Fushimi: Why won’t you understand me, Seto?
The world is spinning, my field of vision is…
Seto: Are you enjoying this? If you’re saying that you’ve noticed my feelings, then from now on, let’s take some time to let you understand it.
Fushimi: What are you… saying…
Seto: I slipped some drugs in your wine, because tonight is the important night for the both of us, let’s enjoy it to the fullest. I’ll go settle the bill, wait for me here.
Fushimi: I can’t… I have to escape… quick…
Waiter: Sir, what’s the matter? Do you feel sick?
Fushimi: Does this restaurant have a back exit? I need to leave before he returns.
Fushimi: Someone… (Fushimi’s phone rings) It’s from Katou…
Katou: Hello? Fushimi-san? Where are you now? Are you done?
Fushimi: Katou…
Katou: What’s the matter? Are you crying? Where are you now?
Fushimi: Save me, save me!
Katou: I understand, I’ll go over immediately.
Fushimi: Just like that time, when I first seeked help from Katou. I haven’t changed since then, I’m so useless. That’s why Seto set his eyes on me? My cousin Kouichi-niisan might have been the same too. They don’t feel guilty from threatening others, those people whose heart have been chipped, from now I am supposed to hear it at the entrance of my dreams.
Hurry, hurry! Damn it, if I can stop breathing now…
It’s useless, I can’t afford to get crazy here, but if Katou didn’t come for me… even if he did come, if he lets go of my hand… What would I do?
Katou: Fushimi-san! Fushimi-san? Are you there? Is that where you are? Seems like you aren’t hurt.
Fushimi: Katou! Katou…
Katou: Can you walk? I have a car waiting on the streets.

Kuroi Aijou (6)
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Track 05

Katou: That man, so he hasn’t given up? Why did you meet him without telling me anything? You must have known what he would do to you if you met up with him. Did you want to be raped by him again?
Fushimi: No I didn’t…
Katou: Then why? Why were you so rash?
Fushimi: Because I fell in love with you! I wanted to tell him that you’re the one I’m in love with, the one I’m in love with is you! Only… you…
Katou: I’m sure you don’t know how happy I am right now. You fell in love with me, knowing what sort of human I am? Fushimi-san should only know one part of me. Can you promise not to hate me even after I tell you about myself? (Fushimi nods) You will promise it?
Fushimi: I promise.
Katou: I love Fushimi-san more than you know. From the first time I set eyes on you at the flat, I’ve always wanted to make you mine.
Fushimi: Why… to that extent?
Katou: Because you were kinder than anyone else. I thought you were the only one who could put my heart at ease. Only Fushimi-san can save me. Just today, I don’t want to let Seto or anybody else touch any part or even a single hair of you. If Seto had held you tonight, I would have definitely killed the both of you. I’ve killed someone before.
Fushimi: Katou…
Katou: When it comes to the one I love, I’ve always wanted to keep them in my hand. It doesn’t matter if it is a person or a thing, once I’ve gained possession of it, I would never want to give it to anyone else. The first person whom I came to love was coincidentally the same as you, my cousin. He was 3 years older than me and a popular boy with a cheerful disposition. Because our houses were nearby, we frequently hung out together like real brothers. But it was around the time when he started talking about entering a faraway high school, things started to not look good.
Fushimi: In what way did you kill him?
Katou: I longed for him. But after staying by his side, I learned that it was impossible. Towards a male like me, he didn’t hold any affection deeper than family love. Or rather, he found it irritating that I kept sticking to him persistently. But because of that he couldn’t leave me alone. I could only call that as the ill nature I was born with.
Fushimi: Did he kill with these hands? In what way? Why wasn’t it exposed till now?
Katou: Was it during an evening towards the end of summer holidays? He came over as usual to ask me out and we went to the riverbed. We played with the fireworks we brought along; those were small sparklers and we were competing to see whose lasted longer. I believed it in my heart, that if my sparklers were the last to remain, he wouldn’t leave me. (Katou sighs) The burnt sparklers were all thrown into a bucket of water. After I wrapped it in vinyl cloth and emptied the bucket of water, I told him: just in case, let’s fill the bucket with water again. He didn’t suspect a single thing and went to the river with the bucket. The area was dark and the sun was long gone. I was so frightened after being left alone and started dashing towards him. But in my haste I tripped over something and that moment, I stuck out both hands without thinking. I thought he would save me, but I was wrong. Along with the sounds of water, I heard his cries.
Fushimi: Katou…
Katou: If you love me, then hear me through to the end. He was almost swallowed by the river and he stretched his arms out towards me numerous times. I was also desperate, but even when I stood at the edge of the river and stretched out my arms, I couldn’t reach him. I couldn’t swim, so I wasn’t able to jump in to save him either. On top of that, the river was flowing faster than usual because of the typhoon during the past few days. I yelled for help at the top of my voice. While I was calling for help, he was being washed down further and further away from me. Up till the last moment he was still screaming my name, until he disappeared from sight. When I next regained consciousness, I was on a hospital bed. Seems like I was in confusion for a day and was carried into the hospital. I woke up the next morning. My mother sat beside me with a pale face, she started crying after she told me that “the boy’s body has been found”. She didn’t blame me, she said that if I had tried to save him, we would have both died. That was all cleared up as an accident, but I was aware of the truth. I’m sure Fushimi-san understands as well, after hearing so much, you should know what sort of person I am.
Fushimi: That can’t be…
Katou: It’s a fact that I can’t swim, but somewhere deep in my heart, I could have been thinking that I didn’t save him, he would stay forever as mine. Since then, I have locked up these impulses I have. I can no longer fall in love with anyone anymore, if I fall in love, I might err and cause another death. I can’t suppress my possessiveness, there’s no way to do that. But if the other party says that he loves me… If I liken it to having a spell undone, will you laugh at me?
Fushimi: Katou…

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Track 06

Fushimi: Why the toilet…
Katou: Sit there.
Fushimi: What are these… handcuffs? What are you planning to do?
Katou: Have you forgotten what my hobby is? I’ll leave water here and the radio switched on.
Fushimi: What are you planning to do? You… where are you going?
Katou: Fushimi-san has freed me from the magic, I have to thank you properly. I will come back soon, don’t worry, I will no longer kill anyone. That’s right, it was an accident. But please remember this, my sparklers went out long after his did. I will keep on winning.
Fushimi: Katou! (Katou shuts the door and walks off) Wait, don’t go! Come back! I’m begging you, come back!
Fushimi: Has it been 3 hours since then? Katou might kill Seto. No, before that, Seto might lay hands on Katou. Am I only able to stay here without doing anything? It will be fine, he will come back, it will be fine.
Katou: I love Fushimi-san.
Fushimi: He said that he loved me. Katou, me and Seto too; a part of our hearts got chipped and we have been looking for the person who fits into the hole. For me, Katou is the one which fits mine.
Please come back soon! Just forget about Seto already, I want you to be by my side.
My heart feels so lonely that I can’t stand it. Rather than getting insecure from being left by myself, I can’t help getting concerned about Katou’s safety.
Katou: (Door opens) I’m back.
Fushimi: Katou! Thank goodness…
Katou: Were you lonely while waiting?
Fushimi: I thought you might never come back…
Katou: Why? There’s no way I will leave you behind and not return right?
Fushimi: You met with Seto right? What did you two talk about?
Katou: We came to an understanding. I would like to explain it in detail to you, but I want to hold Fushimi-san right now.
Fushimi: Katou… wait… wait! I’m trying to have a serious talk! When you said understanding… what do you mean…
Katou: Guess that can’t be helped, then while I’m talking, Fushimi-san should try to arouse me. You’re so cute, Fushimi-san. If you do it well, I’ll tell you everything. Stick out your tongue and lick it. That’s right, let me hear the sounds. Seto should be in a terrible state now, we exchanged blows at the SM club which Fushimi-san has been to before. I handed Seto over to one of the more hardcore sadists I know. Once he lays hands on Seto, Seto’s body will become one that only yearns for men. What a great expression.
Fushimi: What you just said, is that the truth?
Katou: Yea, it is. That’s why it won’t become a crime so please don’t worry. My friends are all people in high places, they will know what to do. What will Fushimi-san do? Do you want to become like Seto and be fine with any man as long as you get embraced?
Fushimi: I don’t want to! I only want you. If it’s you, I don’t mind anything.
Katou: I’ll put on the clip for you. Tonight, it will be slightly rough. Were you saving it up? Fushimi-san was so cute, did it feel that good?
Fushimi: Because it’s you.
Katou: That’s right, it’s because it was me. I’m the only one who could make Fushimi-san aroused, or save Fushimi-san.
Fushimi: Is Katou fine with me? I don’t remember much about the past, but you aren’t the first man I embraced. Even so…
Katou: Then just make me the last. Who cares about being the first, it’s way more difficult to become the last, and more important too. Fushimi-san is the last man for me.
Fushimi: Katou…
Katou: It’s Ryou.
Fushimi: Ryou… I want you, I want Ryou! Stay by my side! I want to be with you forever.
Katou: If you say such cute stuff, I won’t be able to hold back.
Fushimi: It’s fine.
Katou: So good, it’s sucking me in. It feels like I’m going to melt inside Tomonori.
Fushimi: No… don’t move… in that way… Ryou! I can’t! I’m getting weird.
Katou: Try moving by yourself, slowly.
Fushimi: That’s fine, it doesn’t hurt?
Katou: Good, it feels very good…
Fushimi: No… don’t take it out… really, Ryou…
Katou: You can’t if I don’t put it in? Do you know what words I want to hear right now?
Fushimi: I love you! I only love Ryou, I want you to come inside me. I want Ryou to take all of me.
Katou: Good boy. Me too, I love you too.
Fushimi: Ryou… Ryou!
If I said that “I love you” isn’t enough, I have a feeling that Katou would understand immediately. Such lustful things that would make others frown at me, Katou would be the only one who understands.

Kuroi Aijou (7)
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Track 07

Fushimi: The next week, Katou would be tendering his resignation at the flat. He had originally accepted a position at the large foreign company.
Katou: It seems like they want me to take over some responsibilities over there. This came at the right timing, I just got some weird claim from a patient at the flat and I was getting to dislike the way things were done here. What would Fushimi-san do? If you’re undecided, why don’t you come with me?
Fushimi: You’re right, if it is around the same as this flat, I would like to work at the same place as Ryou.
For someone with a strong spirit of self-reliance like him, when he meets troubles, he should be able to overcome it by himself. But, right now, he needs me. So until he feels like confiding in me, I want to stay by him quietly.
Katou: It has been a while since I came here.
Fushimi: Have you ever felt like returning to the time when you were a child?
Katou: No, I’ve never wanted to. How about Fushimi-san?
Fushimi: It would be a lie to say that I don’t want to. Sometimes I feel like returning to that time and redoing things.
Katou: It might be the same for me. This place haunts me in my dreams sometimes. Many times I pondered over whether that was an accident or intentional. I can’t understand it now. But in my dreams, I’m always regretting for not grabbing his hand and saving him that day. If only I could swim, if only there wasn’t the typhoon then, If only we didn’t come to the river…
Fushimi: Have you cried properly? It’s better to cry when you’re suffering. Ryou might have been trapped by what happened then and remembered something different from the truth.
Katou: What do you mean?
Fushimi: Because you really liked your cousin, there’s a possibility that you would blame yourself after the incident. The pain of not having your feelings conveyed across properly, didn’t it get converted to a murderous intent after a long time? You started thinking that the accident was your fault and made it so that you would never forget him.
Katou: Tomonori is such a naïve person. I’m not such a good person.
Fushimi: Didn’t I get saved from Seto twice? Wasn’t that because you were repenting for the past?
Katou:  I wonder about that. But, because Tomonori asked for me to save him.
Fushimi: If you didn’t save me, I wouldn’t be here now. Thank you. Ryou isn’t as bad as you think you are. It’s in the nature of your job as a counselor. You are using your own way to save others, I’m sure you will get released one day.
Katou: (Katou laughs) Since we came all the way here, shall we play with some fireworks?
Fushimi: Let’s do that.
Fushimi: Shall we compete?
Katou: About what?
Fushimi: If I win, Ryou will move over to my place.
Katou: Then if I won, Tomonori comes over.
Fushimi: Oh…
Katou: I love you.

Kuroi Aijou (8)
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6 thoughts on “Kuroi Aijou Disc 2 – Translation

  1. I love Nara Chiharu, and I always wanted more novels and drama cds from the books illustrated by her, translated and you have many… This is heaven. Sorry I’ve expressed this already, but it’s so wonderful.

    • Ah, Nara Chiharu sounds familiar, I think I’ve seen quite a few novels with her illustrations? In any case, I’ll keep an eye out for her in future! And, you’re welcome~ I’m glad that you find this useful ^^

  2. This was one of the drama cds of which I most wanted a translation, and I was this close to breaking into dance when I saw you translated it. Thank you so much for sharing! *_*

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